


Target Practice

by flightinflame



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Presents, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-16
Updated: 2013-12-16
Packaged: 2018-01-04 20:17:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1085261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flightinflame/pseuds/flightinflame
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint finds a present within the vents, and sets out to have some fun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Target Practice

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompt: Clint gets a nerf gun for Christmas, whackiness ensues.
> 
> Just something fluffy and fun

Clint scrambled through the air vents in the Helicarrier, humming the mission impossible tune to himself. The air vents there were not as good as those within the Tower, but they had their own advantages. Whilst Tony had been very indulgent in the production of those in the tower, and had included a labyrinth of passageways and secret paths for him - shortcuts and trap doors and large areas within the depths of the building where he could curl up to rest - the Helicarrier provided unsuspecting targets. 

That on some occasions was more than enough to compensate for the narrow width of the passageways, the dirt that accumulated in them and how difficult they could be to climb. Today was certainly one of those occasions, and Clint had a goal in mind.

It had started this morning in Stark Tower, when he had gone to recover a chocolate bar he had left in one of his hidey holes. It was the largest of the "nests" that Tony had built, large enough for him to stand in, and full of cushions and blankets. He'd hide there when he wanted to get away from the world.

When trying to live in the new family that they had created for themselves became too much for him to handle, he would go there. He crawled in, sliding down one of the chutes that led towards it, and then climbing up another tube with steep sides and no hand holds. 

Nestled among his blankets, and the cushions that he had acquired from the rooms of his friends, there was a box, wrapped in pale blue paper coated with white snowflakes. He picked it up, examining it carefully. The snowflakes were embossed beneath his fingers, and it rattled slightly as he looked at it. 

He hesitated, but he knew that JARVIS would have warned him if it was dangerous. He swallowed, and decided to go for it, tearing the packet off of the box. What he found was a surprise, but he couldn't stop himself from smiling. It was a Nerf Firestrike, a small nerf gun with a red targeting light. It wasn't the furthest or fastest of the guns, but it was the one that he had top of his wishlist because it was small. He could use small to get around easily.

There was also a tactical vest included in the package, emblazoned with the nerf logo on one side and the SHIELD logo in orange on the other. It also contained several full reload clips. He had no idea who it was from, but they obviously were wanting him to cause chaos. He thought that it would probably turn out to be Tony's responsibility, but he had no way of proving it. Tony or JARVIS - he wouldn't put it past the AI to search his history and buy him a present. 

Well, whoever had gifted him it, it was his now, and he felt it was important that he put it to good use. In this particular case, good use had been putting the vest on under his jacket, stuffing his pockets with spare darts, hiding the nerf gun in his shoulder holster and heading into the helicarrier, calling Phil and telling him that something urgent but not critical had come up. If he happened to meet him for lunch, well, that was just a lucky coincidence.

Once he'd reached the helicarrier, he had taken the quickest route into the vents, and gone off with a mission in mind. Obviously there were a variety of junior agents to persecute, but first he wanted to see how Phil's new team reacted to some aerial assault.

He slowly slithered through the vents in the helicarrier, frowning slightly at how boring and uniform they were. Tony's habit of messing with the vents in the tower, and the genius's aim to make them like the staircases at Hogwarts, had clearly spoiled him. He no longer enjoyed these as much as he had. Still, he could hear voices below, and that at least promised a satisfying reward.

He reached the engineering lab first, and settled in to watch. Coulson was stood at the desk, watching as two animated scientists bickered among themselves, all gazing at a small gun on the table before them, no bigger than the nerf gun in Clint's hand.

"Look, there's absolutely no way that you can adapt this technology into an arrow." The young woman was explaining, her hands moving in an exaggerated manner. "It just isn't possible-"  
"-The force of the arrow alone would be too concentrated, if it's to travel any distance." Her companion held up a diagram. "It'd pierce straight through whoever was being shot. We could make one that might stop the impact, but we'd have to ensure it didn't shatter-"And even if we could do that, we'd still have to try and make it air resistant, and capable of being fired when it's damp, and..."  
"It just can't be done."

"The gun is too loud." Coulson said simply, but he smiled at them. "You can find a solution, I want something silent, you understand?"  
"We'll try." The female scientist agreed, and Coulson walked out. There was a cry of pain a moment after the door closed, as a foam dart impacted with the back of the engineer's head.

Clint scurried away before the little scientists could work out where he had shot it from. That was the first one, and that was the easiest target. Then, well, next on his list was Skye. He was rather fond of the young asset, but that didn't mean she escaped being persecuted when Clint had his new nerf gun. There was too much potential for chaos, too much fun happening for Skye to escape it.

He crawled along through the corridors, until he found Skye in one of the training rooms, her hands on Ward's arms as he talked her through throwing him. Clint pressed his nose against the bars of the vent, watching curiously as he explained again. It was clear enough, but the fact Skye made mistakes was infamous in SHIELD by now. Clint was even teaching her to throw her gun at an attacker in case she managed to dislodge the magazine again.

When it came to it though, Skye moved smoothly. She grabbed Ward's hip, and stuck her own leg out, twisting and knocking him out of the way. He did a forward roll as he landed, breaking his fall and grinning up at her for a moment before his face settled back to a casual expression. 

Clint smiled at them, feeling proud of the two of them. He was glad that Phil's team was getting together, forming their own family. He watched as they practiced again a couple of times, then took his aim. 

The first dart struck Skye on the back of her hand, making her jump slightly. Her grip on Ward eased, and he sent her tumbling back instead. Clint snorted slightly, and shot the dart gun again, striking Ward in the middle of the forehead. The agent went comically crosseyed for one moment before moving into a fighting stance. 

Clint had crawled off before he could threaten him, but behind him Ward's voice echoed down the vent.  
"Barton!"  
Clint crawled faster.

He was on the hunt for May, and didn't have far to go. She was a couple of gyms over, training with Natasha. The two of them were sparring, throwing each other around and laughing. Clint smiled to himself, glad to see Natasha so happy now. She and Melinda were good for each other, even if it just made them more terrifying than before.

He aimed the gun at May, and fired the dart, but Natasha spun and knocked the dart out of the air, looking up at him, her eyes meeting his in the vent.   
"Clint..." She called out, her voice dripping with anger and warning. Clint swallowed, as Natasha ran up towards it, jumping to pull the grate down.

Clint crawled quickly away, hearing Natasha clambering in behind him, and he moved faster. He knew the vents here inside out, but so did Natasha. She'd catch him soon. He raced along quicker, heading towards Phil's office. Phil was sat at his desk, working hard, and Clint glanced back over his shoulder to notice that Natasha was just behind him. He slammed into the grate, trying to fumble it open. 

It fell forwards, and Clint tumbled after it, landing sprawled on Coulson’s desk with the gun still in his hand. He laid there panting, gazing back up at the vent. Natasha stuck her head out and waved down at them, then scrambled back out of sight.

Phil looked him up and down, then raised an eyebrow.   
"What are you doing here?"  
"Just... just thought I might as well drop in?" Clint suggested, smiling at him. Phil rolled his eyes.  
"You are an idiot Barton." Coulson told him, but helped him to sit down, his hands smoothing the paperwork that had been creased in his fall. "What've you got there?"  
Clint hid the gun behind him, then shrugged and held it out.  
"Nerf gun. Found it in the tower."  
"That sounds like a terrible idea." Coulson sighed softly. "I already got told that you bothered my team. Go home to the tower, take Natasha with you, and get it out of your system with superheroes rather than junior agents that aren't expecting it. Your friends are used to you."

Clint grinned at him.   
"Sure. See you later." He leaned in and kissed Phil on the cheek, and Phil returned the kiss, then waved him away, returning to work. He opened up his phone, texting Natasha to tell her to get home.

Clint headed back to the tower, unlocking the door and heading into the living room, the vest restocked now and the nerf gun hidden in the holster by his armpit.  
"Hey Legolas...." Tony greeted him with a grin. "You having fun?"

"More than you know." Clint answered.  
"Well you missed a lot of fun here." Tony grinned, pulling out his own small nerf gun, and pointing it at Clint. 

His aim was slightly off, but in midair the dart swerved to strike Clint in the middle of the chest.  
"What did you do to that damn dart Tony?"  
"I made it better..." He answered with a shrug. "And you've just come back into the middle of an all out tower simulated battle - we all got these things, and they're pretty fun..."  
"Who got them?"  
"Absolutely no idea." Tony shrugged. "But Jarvis seems content they aren't a threat, and he scanned them all before we used them, so they're clearly safe."  
"What are the teams?"  
"I'm with Steve, Bruce is with Thor... but now..." Tony grinned, signalling to Jarvis to turn on the speakers. "Hawkeye's back, all against him."

"Screw you Stark!" Clint yelled back, but he was already running, putting distance between himself and Tony. Then up into the ventilation shafts, and along to another floor.  
"Agent Barton, Doctor Banner and Prince Odinson are sat in the next room playing a computer game, having become bored of the nerf guns." Jarvis informed him, and Clint grinned. This whole game was going to become a lot easier if he had Jarvis at his back.

He crawled up into the ventilation at the top of the room, relaxing when he saw that Jarvis was right, that the two of them were lost in a game together.  
"Thanks J." He whispered.  
"Think nothing of it Agent Barton." Jarvis replied, his voice soft but still perfect.  
Clint drew the gun, and shot twice. The first bounced off Thor's chestplate, and the second collided with Bruce's glasses. Thor went to stand up, but Bruce shook his head and he sat down again, the two of them continuing to play the racing game as though nothing had happened.

"Doctor Banner and Prince Odinson are out of the match." Jarvis announced. "The remaining combatants are Commander Rogers, Sir, Agent Romanoff and Agent Barton."  
Clint allowed himself a momentary victory wriggle at the fact he had managed to nearly halve his opponents in two shots, then went to track down Natasha. She had just arrived back, and was still examining her own gun. At any other time, Clint would have shown mercy, but he knew that once she got it working, she'd go for him. His one chance of victory was to remove her from the game. A single dart hit her forehead.  
"Agent Romanoff is down."

Clint punched the air, and continued on his journey. Steve had braved the kitchen for a drink, and he hit him with a dart to the small of the back. Steve turned and glared at the ventilation, but Clint was already moving on.

He reached Tony's workshop, seeing one of the suits moving around and petting the bots.  
"Got you..." He shot at the armour, and Jarvis didn't confirm a hit. He was about to protest, when a nerf gun pushed between his shoulderblades.  
"Even I can't miss from here Katniss." Tony told him, before the trigger clicked and it bumped into him. "Reset..."

The games continued, and Clint won most of them, although both Natasha and Tony scraped a couple each. Bruce, Thor and Steve fairly soon resigned from it, and sat watching movies while battle raged around them.

The three of them were still playing when Coulson returned several hours later. They turned in unison, and three foam darts bumped against his suit. He arched an eyebrow.   
"I will take those off you you know, you especially Clint. I know you were causing trouble earlier, now come with me."

Clint shrugged, and followed him to his office.  
"Whatever it was, I didn't do it."  
"You targeted my team..." Coulson pointed out. "You're running amok. From now on, just fire it at people that expect it."

Clint didn't bother to point out that ruined the fun of it, preferring to raise the Nerf gun and fire it at Phil.  
"I will take it away..." Coulson reprimanded. "Now, where is that from?"  
"Found it in a nest this morning, whole team got them and Jarvis says it isn't dangerous, but none of us are owning up... I think it must be someone in the tower though, because they can place it more easily."

Clint's eyes lit up, as he turned to the one person in the tower who hadn't denied planting the nerf guns.  
“Did you do it Phil? Did you get this for me?”  
Phil shook his head, and gestured to Clint to leave him alone.  
"The last thing I need is you being armed off of missions. Look, I've got paperwork to do, and if your silly little toy messes everything up, I won't be happy." He reprimanded him, but he smiled as he said it. Clint shrugged, and walked away.

Phil glanced into the drawer, smoothing down the blue and white snowflake paper within it. He had been right, it was a good gift. He tucked the darts that had been specially adapted to contain the formula that was used in the night night gun beside the paper. Explaining the use of the darts to Clint was for another day. For now, he just wanted him to have fun, and by the shouting and laughter from the halls, he was managing it.


End file.
